Things That Have Changed and What I’m Looking Forward To

Starting Here!!!

Well I was waiting for divine intervention which is the usual force behind my blogs (LOL). But it didn’t come this time and I was reminded (Thanks Liz!) that I’m slacking on my pimpin’ with keeping the blog going. So even though there haven’t been any epiphanous events since my last blog, there have been some smaller realizations that are helping me to push forward.

One big realization (THE GOOD): Today is day 35 folks! Our last weigh-in was on Day 30 (we’ll weigh-in again on Sunday) and I was 198.6 lbs. I know we women don’t generally share how much we weigh, especially when we weigh as much as I do, but since I’m on a juice diet and weight loss journey, I would be remiss to ignore the numbers. When we started this juice fast I was 231.5 lbs. That’s right people, in 30 days I lost almost 35 lbs! I’ve gone from a size 18 to a size 14. At my smallest I was a size 10 and about 169 lbs which looks great on me since I’m a big, tall, athletic girl by nature. But even then I was looking to get down to 155 which is still my goal weight. Hoping that equates to a size 8 but we’ll see how it goes. Either way, I haven’t been under 200 lbs in over three years. That has been a major catalyst for me to keep going. Not just because I’m looking better, but because I’m feeling better. Working out is becoming easier and easier. Even on significantly fewer calories, I’m finding myself able to run longer and faster and having lots of energy to Zumba or kickbox or lift weights or do core exercises, or just chase my son around the house. And I don’t mind saying, I’m seeing and feeling the sexiness returning! Remembering how good it feels to walk into a room and not mind that everyone is looking at you (everyone looks at me whether I’m fat or skinny because I generally stick out like a sore thumb wherever I go…except Berkeley). I notice myself walking taller and prouder and with more confidence. 

The hard realization (THE NOT SO GOOD): This is not getting any easier and it ain’t gonna! I know all my blogs have been about how much better I’m feeling and how great everything is, but the day to day on this thing is HARD!!! Don’t be under any illusions; we are getting our asses kicked over here. Every day at work someone brings in something amazing to eat. Heck, I made a nice big gluten-free, vegan spaghetti dish for Blake last night that had the house smelling like an Italian restaurant all night. We push ourselves to the limit every day. We work out at least 5 days a week, usually 6. 

And we work out really hard, it’s not just 20 min on the elliptical reading a book. We are using every bit of energy we are getting from the juice. The temptation and desire for food has not subsided the way we thought it would have by now. We figured by Day 30 we’d be resigned to our new lifestyle. But not so much! I was thinking about the documentary we watched that got us started on this new regime and the guys on there had no other responsibilities. They didn’t have to work, they didn’t have to cook for anyone, and they didn’t have kids to chase around or busy social schedules. They had 60 days to focus solely on themselves. We have to do this as an aside to all the other things we have to do in life. Not that anyone should feel bad for us, we made the decision to do this and we are sticking to it. But it is taking a lot more willpower than we thought it would.

The breakthrough realization (THE FREAKIN’ GREAT!): I noticed the other night that we have not been fighting. I don’t know if it’s the fact that we got all these toxins out of our systems that make us angry, stressed and tired or because the juice diet has brought us together and gotten us back on the same page again. We have been finding more time to talk to each other about what’s on our mind. Even more interesting, I think the juice has brought us both more clarity to know and articulate what we want. And I think it has also made us calmer, less judgmental, and more active listeners. Yes we still have our little tiffs, but we squash them immediately. They don’t linger and hang over our house like a dark cloud the way they used to. We have the energy to give the other person our attention and our commitment. We have made so many life decisions and talked about things we haven’t touched on in years over the past few weeks. It has really been a breakthrough. It makes me happy to say I feel like I have my husband back, and I know he feels like he has his nutty wife back. More importantly, we have our best friends back. Everything that happens in our house lately has been the result of us talking and agreeing on what we want to do. 

We have gotten more organized, and I think we have much better direction than we did 35 days ago in terms of what we’re doing, where we want our life together to go, and the next steps on how to get there. I think on top of having more energy to enjoy my time with my son, being able to calm the heck down and reconnect with my husband has been such a great and unexpected benefit. I never imagined that this change would have such far-reaching consequences. I can’t even say how happy it makes me to have harmony and unity in my home. <3 <3 <3

What I’m Looking Forward To: Making it past the midpoint hurdle has allowed us to begin thinking about what our return to eating solids foods is going to consist of. We have started doing our research into the various lifestyle changing options: paleo, gluten-free, dairy-free, whole foods, plant-based, etc. We are realizing there is no steadfast, agreed-upon way to eat for any of these options and we are going to have to build some sort of hybrid for ourselves that works for us and for Blake. I think we will base it on some of our key tenets which are cutting out processed foods, reducing or eliminating our meat and dairy intake, reducing or eliminating our gluten intake, and maximizing our consumption of fruits and vegetables, all while remaining cognizant of the impact on our bank account. We know that whatever we do will involve more cooking and significantly less eating out, significantly less drinking and significantly less of all the things our bodies have grown accustomed to eating over the past 30+ years. The biggest hurdle for me will be bread. 

The biggest hurdle for Ismael will be sweets. And we both have to get over our alcohol and caffeine addictions. This juice diet has been such an eye-opener in terms of showing us the things we can live without. I never imagined I could go this long without coffee or Patron and I’m sure Ismael never realized he could go this long without a Snickers bar or Black Label. But we have and we are not feeling deprived or like we are missing it for one minute. On the contrary we are seeing how bad it is for us and the way it impacts our bodies and our minds. We are starting to get excited though about this commitment to change. We realize we have made a decision that is going to impact our health and our choices for the rest of our lives. The statistics out there are so scary, disease is so rampant. When we think of things like cancer, which there is often little people can do to avoid, this lifestyle change is really the only way to reduce our chances of being stricken with that incurable disease that will afflict 41% of Americans! I don’t want to get preachy here but the things we are putting into our bodies are killing us. One of the best known quotes of the Greek physician Hippocrates was “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”. Amen! At our house we are ready to start eating foods that help us live, not that help us to die. We will keep you posted on how we decide to move forward after the juice cleanse is over. And don’t worry, the blogs will keep coming!!!

             

What I’m Learning!

NOTE: Today’s blog is kinda all over the place. A lot of random thoughts (must be the lack of solid foods or something LOL).  Read with caution and hopefully with pleasure!

Captains Log: Today is February 8^th, Day 18 of the 60-day juice diet. The space madness is beginning to set in.  I think Officer Ismael is secretly trying to sabotage me by making deliciously scrumptious meals for Cadet Blake and spiking my drinks with too much beet juice. I will make him pay!  I WILL MAKE THEM ALL PAY!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (OK lemme get some water, that will fix everything) Ok, all better now and ready to talk about our progress.  

First and foremost, we are still going strong and continue to feel geared up to go the full 60 days.  We are working out regularly, losing lots of weight and feeling healthy. I realized something about myself today.  I’m HELLA strong! And I don’t mean that to toot my own horn, because I’m more amazed by it than anyone. It’s funny, my girlfriends throughout my life have always told me how strong and capable I am, and what a great head I have on my shoulders. I have always wanted to believe them but I never felt that way on the inside. I think I give off a much more confident vibe than how I really feel. I can’t say my life has been hard; I have been and continue to be truly blessed.  But I can say there have been times when it has not been easy. Many times that I have made horrible mistakes and made a huge mess of things and said and done things I can’t take back that may have hurt someone I loved or destroyed a relationship. There are choices that if I had to make over again, I might not have made.  I have not always done my best. I have missed opportunities. I’ve been a bad friend. I’ve been a bad wife, mother, daughter, sister.  In short, I have proven to myself and others that I am not strong, capable, smart, or even a good person sometimes.

But what I realized today is that no matter how bad things get, I never stop trying. I never give up on myself or anyone else.  I believe in myself and I believe in the people I love.  I know that together we can accomplish anything. This juice diet has taken every bit of strength and willpower and determination that I have in my body. In my mind I know I owe it to myself, to my husband, to my son, to my friends and family, to see this through. Not just so I can be healthy and be there for them when they need me, or to thank them for all their love and support throughout my life, but to show them that I AM strong and capable and that all the things they believe about me are true. And more importantly, show them that I see the same Nina that they see.

I remember when I was in grad school.  I called my dad having one of my usual crises, feeling like I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’ll never forget what he said. The most obvious but best advice ever. “Nina, stop being so hard on yourself”. I’ve had to learn that lesson over and over again and every time I arrive at it again I’m reminded of that conversation with my father. Well I’m ready to stop being so hard on myself, to give myself a freakin break sometimes and not expect to work miracles every day. To realize that being strong and capable doesn’t mean making everything work or always succeeding. It means never giving up and always trying to do the best you can despite the curveballs that life throws at you. It means being true to the people who are true to you and trying not to let them down. I want to be able to look back on my life and know that I have done that.

Thank you everyone for your love and support and thank you for continuing to read my blog.  I’m so proud of the people who are on this journey with me.  My husband Ismael who has lost 20lbs already and looks friggin amazing.  My sister Shannon whom I’ve already thanked profusely today.  My niece Amaiyah who is sticking with this diet in such a great way and who is more of an inspiration than she knows. And to my brother Michael who I could write a whole blog on; he’s starting the juice life this weekend.  Love you guys and thank you for getting healthy with me!

Special shout out to Lindsey Shifley for adding a link to my blog on her page. Lindsey lives in my neighborhood and has made great strides in getting her own family into more healthy eating and spreading the word about eating “real” food.  And she’s just generally awesome and infectious and makes you want to get behind whatever she is doing. Love you girlie! Check her out at http://themullies.blogspot.com/

A little progress...

Blake's Baptism January 2011

The bathroom at work yesterday 2/8/13 (no cell phones allowed!)

Judgement!!

SOME GOOD SLEEP THERE!!!

So this week i haven't blogged like i should be doing, so i decided to ask my husband to write something. It's a little late, he wrote this on day 7 and Thursday was our first milestone day 10, but that's cuz I took forever to edit it LOL: 

"Being on this juice diet has given me a different perspective on how we should consume food. Yes, your right on what your thinking, it's only been 7 days and who am I to judge anyone's cart in the grocery store. Maybe a little bit of jealousy or even guilt coming through these words. Honestly you be the judge, do you think I am being harsh or even crazy that taking on the task of only eating fruits and vegetables from a juicer?? Like I said I am on the 7th day of a 60day cleanser with my wife, sister-in-law, and niece. We're on a mission not to just to lose weight but to change our lives and the effect that food has it, one way or another.

But let me explain something before you call me crazy or even dumb for not eating "food". Okay dumb is harsh which I am not! I'm simply trying to teach myself how to eat food correctly but also what kinds of food to eat (as I'm writing this I'm watching my son eat his lunch, all I want to do is push him out of the way and eat his lunch, or maybe just eat him!!) So believe this its not easy but it is possible. Let me ask you this, think about everything you have eaten in the past year or maybe two years!? Trust me you've had a few moments where you think to yourself "I shouldn't have eaten that". Guilt comes over you, or moment of joy. The possibility of tearing yourself away from what food creates for you is what is hard not that you stopped eating a sandwich or even your kids lunch.

I'm a normal fella that is trying something new for himself. It's easy for me to judge how others eat, or for others to judge this juice diet we're on (believe me we've heard it all). The hard part is judging our food pantries or refrigerators before judging the shopping cart next to you or program someone is on."

So hopefully you read what he said, tell me what you think? I want to hear from you guys, what do you think about us going through this process or the fact the he's walking through the grocery store maybe judging your cart. Would you go through this process yourself?

go check out 29th Bridge.com everyone, we're still making changes but we believe its a good start and Thank you so much for reading!!

Day 10 – The First Milestone

Well every day is a milestone on this juice cleanse. Every day has been an opportunity
to show myself that I can do it. Every day has been an opportunity to show myself that
I can’t do it. This truly is a battle of wills. I believe the hard part is over, where my
body is actually feeling the difference between my regular food intake and this new
regime. I think my body has learned now how to run on what is really a significant
increase in nutrients and vitamins and a significant decrease in calories and fat. I think
that’s the biggest misconception, that we are starving ourselves or somehow we aren’t
getting enough nutrients. Yesterday for lunch I had a beet (which I would never, EVER
normally eat), 3 carrots, a cucumber, a handful of spinach, a knuckle of ginger, 2 apples,
some pineapple, and little lime for taste. A completely balanced meal, even with a little
protein in it. How many of you can say you ate that well for lunch yesterday? So we are
not starving ourselves, we are re-training our bodies to function on things that are good
for us, and getting all the crap out of our systems.

You may be wondering where and why we got this crazy idea to subsist on juice from
fruit and veggies for 60 days. Ismael stumbled on a documentary called Fat, Sick and
Nearly Dead. It’s about a man who went from being a champion swimmer in college, to
being, well, fat, sick and nearly dead by the age of 40. He was over 300 pounds and had
an autoimmune disease where he would get rashes and ulcers on his skin from people just
touching him. He was on a litany of medications. He decided to do something extreme.
He consulted his doctor and was on his way. The first 30 days he spent in NYC checking
out all the millions of juice bars. The second 30 days he spent on the road with his juicer,
traveling the country, not trying to convert or proselytize, but to inform people about the
benefits of juicing and trying to get them to taste his weird little green concoctions. It was
amazing to see the resistance and sometimes anger he would bring out in people. How
set in their ways people were and how convinced so many of them were that they had
no control over whether lived or died and just wanted to eat what they liked in the mean
time. He met a truck driver along the way who had the same disease he had and was
even more overweight. The truck driver was resistant as well but after thinking about for
a few months, decided to try it. He was in very poor health and was so ashamed of his
lifestyle and his weight that he wouldn’t even visit his kids. Long story short, in 60 days
these guys were each able to lose over 80 pounds, not just juicing, but exercising every
day! But more importantly they got off all their medications, their illnesses disappeared,
their skin just glowed and they looked at least 10 years younger by the time they finished.
And of course the story ends with the much smaller, much healthier truck driver playing
football with his son. Sappy, I know, and certainly not rocket science (we all know
we need more fruits and veggies and to take better care of ourselves), but it hit home
nonetheless. While Ismael and I are crazy gym rats, our diets had gotten out of control
and we felt we could be on the road to where these men were.

So here we are, we both lost over 8 pounds in our first week, but we are noticing having
significantly more energy and that we surprisingly are not missing a lot of our favorite
treats. I am still in utter shock that I have survived this long without precious, precious
coffee. But it’s Day 10, the first opportunity to turn back, and we haven’t even discussed

the possibility of not pushing through for the full 60 days. Next big milestone, Day
30 (and every day in between, especially Superbowl GO NINERS!!!) And Go Team
Mendoza!!!

When Things Started to Change

 Wind BLOWING!

As usual, Ismael is transforming faster than I am and he’s really looking great.  I can already see the muscle tone reforming and his wind is starting to blow again (inside joke).  It’s encouraging to see in him how good we are being to ourselves.  Exercise has never really been the issue.  We both love working out.  But for people who work out as much and as hard as we do, we are just shooting ourselves in the foot by coming home and throwing down on beer and nachos.  I know for me the battle with the refrigerator has been life long.  Anyone whose known me for a long time knows my weight fluctuates considerably.  It’s never exercise, it’s always food.  I think I read somewhere that weight loss is something like 10% exercise and 90% food.  I’m starting to agree with that statement. In early 2008, after I made some substantial changes in my life and dropped about 70 pounds in a year, I threw away all my fat clothes and promised myself I would never be that heavy again.  I was committing myself to good health and self-control.  Ismael and I met in May of 2008 and we continued on the warpath to taking care of our bodies.  I dropped another 20 pounds after we met because we lived at the gym and trained for marathons together.  We enjoyed life and each other so much that eating was an afterthought.  I thought I had forever changed my relationship with food.  Even when I got pregnant with Blake in September 2009, we continued to eat well, exercise and take care of ourselves.  But around month four, all communications broke down (MAYDAY, CODE BLUE!!!).  Because I was so worried about something going wrong with my pregnancy, I stopped exercising except for walking on the treadmill or outside.  But I quit any real vigorous exercise.  And I replaced exercise with food.  Also my iron levels were so low that, after trying a million alternatives, I had to go back to eating meat which I hadn’t done in over 10 years (except bacon of course because it’s in its own food group).  This started the ball rolling eventually back to fast food which I also hadn’t had in over 10 years because there is nothing to eat at fast food places for vegetarians. I think there was part of Ismael that wanted to stop what was happening, but there was another part of him that was glad to take it down a notch and not be so strict all the time.  We both have little internal fat kids, so between the four of us, we were on a roll that has brought us to where we are today. Time to start eating to live and not living to eat again. But this time we find a balance. We recognize food for what it is: sustenance, energy to go to work, exercise, play with our son, keep the house organized, get shit done! Food is not the answer to sadness, anger, depression, uncertainty, worry, lack of communication and stress!

Beautiful Family

GO TEAM MENDOZA!!!

Starting to see change

Bunch of Awesomeness!!

So just for clarification the juice fast doesn’t start till 1/22 the day we get back from California (my husband jumped the gun as usual…love you babe!).  Till then we are preparing ourselves for it by significantly cutting back the type and volume of food we eat so that it’s not a total shock to our systems when we start the juice fast.  However, this change has been a shock in and of itself.  I didn’t realize how bad things had gotten. It’s not so much that I’m feeling hungry, we are eating enough to sustain ourselves, but I’m realizing how different I feel.  Last night for the first time in I can’t remember how long, I felt energy in the evening! I was giving Blake his bath and he was throwing water all over the floor and usually at that time of night I’m so tired and sluggish that I’m not able to really join in the fun. I’m usually trying to rush him out of his bath so I can rush him to bed, so I can go to bed.  But last night was different.  It was like the old days of giving him his bath when I enjoyed every minute of watching him play and talking with him.  Bath time and bed time are our special time together.  Just mommy and Blakey.  And I regularly hate myself for being tired and grouchy. But last night I realized just how much of an impact food and alcohol consumption have on my energy levels.  Just four days maintaining our exercise routine, eating significantly lighter and not drinking I really noticed a change.  And it makes me feel encouraged to carry on. If only all that extra energy last night hadn’t prevented me from being able to go to sleep. For the first time in 3 years I couldn’t sleep last night!  Usually I’m out in about 3.2 seconds once my head hits the pillow. But you know what? When my son woke up from a nightmare I was at his bedside and not laying in bed praying for the strength to get up. He opened his eyes, saw my face, gave me a huge smile, and cuddled up next to me and went back to sleep. If that’s not reason to take care of myself, I don’t know what is.

Hey Check BIN Out!!