What I’m Learning!

NOTE: Today’s blog is kinda all over the place. A lot of random thoughts (must be the lack of solid foods or something LOL).  Read with caution and hopefully with pleasure!

Captains Log: Today is February 8^th, Day 18 of the 60-day juice diet. The space madness is beginning to set in.  I think Officer Ismael is secretly trying to sabotage me by making deliciously scrumptious meals for Cadet Blake and spiking my drinks with too much beet juice. I will make him pay!  I WILL MAKE THEM ALL PAY!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (OK lemme get some water, that will fix everything) Ok, all better now and ready to talk about our progress.  

First and foremost, we are still going strong and continue to feel geared up to go the full 60 days.  We are working out regularly, losing lots of weight and feeling healthy. I realized something about myself today.  I’m HELLA strong! And I don’t mean that to toot my own horn, because I’m more amazed by it than anyone. It’s funny, my girlfriends throughout my life have always told me how strong and capable I am, and what a great head I have on my shoulders. I have always wanted to believe them but I never felt that way on the inside. I think I give off a much more confident vibe than how I really feel. I can’t say my life has been hard; I have been and continue to be truly blessed.  But I can say there have been times when it has not been easy. Many times that I have made horrible mistakes and made a huge mess of things and said and done things I can’t take back that may have hurt someone I loved or destroyed a relationship. There are choices that if I had to make over again, I might not have made.  I have not always done my best. I have missed opportunities. I’ve been a bad friend. I’ve been a bad wife, mother, daughter, sister.  In short, I have proven to myself and others that I am not strong, capable, smart, or even a good person sometimes.

But what I realized today is that no matter how bad things get, I never stop trying. I never give up on myself or anyone else.  I believe in myself and I believe in the people I love.  I know that together we can accomplish anything. This juice diet has taken every bit of strength and willpower and determination that I have in my body. In my mind I know I owe it to myself, to my husband, to my son, to my friends and family, to see this through. Not just so I can be healthy and be there for them when they need me, or to thank them for all their love and support throughout my life, but to show them that I AM strong and capable and that all the things they believe about me are true. And more importantly, show them that I see the same Nina that they see.

I remember when I was in grad school.  I called my dad having one of my usual crises, feeling like I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’ll never forget what he said. The most obvious but best advice ever. “Nina, stop being so hard on yourself”. I’ve had to learn that lesson over and over again and every time I arrive at it again I’m reminded of that conversation with my father. Well I’m ready to stop being so hard on myself, to give myself a freakin break sometimes and not expect to work miracles every day. To realize that being strong and capable doesn’t mean making everything work or always succeeding. It means never giving up and always trying to do the best you can despite the curveballs that life throws at you. It means being true to the people who are true to you and trying not to let them down. I want to be able to look back on my life and know that I have done that.

Thank you everyone for your love and support and thank you for continuing to read my blog.  I’m so proud of the people who are on this journey with me.  My husband Ismael who has lost 20lbs already and looks friggin amazing.  My sister Shannon whom I’ve already thanked profusely today.  My niece Amaiyah who is sticking with this diet in such a great way and who is more of an inspiration than she knows. And to my brother Michael who I could write a whole blog on; he’s starting the juice life this weekend.  Love you guys and thank you for getting healthy with me!

Special shout out to Lindsey Shifley for adding a link to my blog on her page. Lindsey lives in my neighborhood and has made great strides in getting her own family into more healthy eating and spreading the word about eating “real” food.  And she’s just generally awesome and infectious and makes you want to get behind whatever she is doing. Love you girlie! Check her out at http://themullies.blogspot.com/

A little progress...

Blake's Baptism January 2011

The bathroom at work yesterday 2/8/13 (no cell phones allowed!)